Everyone is born to this world alone. Today was the first time I had an anxiety attack. At that point I really wanted to take my penknife and just stab my chest to stop my heart from palpitating so excruciatingly and slit my throat, so I could breathe better. I was shaking so hard I could stand up and my hands couldn't hold the knife properly. This is not the time to start falling apart. I don't know how I'm going to face him. I don't want to. I'm so afraid.